I find that reflecting on life can provide some of the best lessons you’ll learn. You don’t know it yet, but there are things you are learning now that you can teach your future self about later. We all learn things along the way, and here are some that I’d like to share.

 

 

1. The older you get, the smaller your group of people gets.

By people, I mean your best group of friends and family who will stay with you through it all. High school friends will fade, college friends will fade, friends from past jobs will fade, and some family even may fade. Who you’re left with, maybe a few from each, are the who will last a lifetime. They will be there when the times get tough and always work through the difficult times.

 

Your barometer for good people gets better as you age, learn life lessons, and meet new people. You really learn to see through all the bullshit. Every now and again, people will come into your life, and you just know they’re going to be in it for the long haul.

 

2. Sometimes accepting defeat makes you the stronger person.

Sometimes we make good decision, sometimes we make bad ones. Every now and then you’ll be on the receiving end of an “I told you so” moment. And there will be a moment when you realize you’ve done something completely wrong. But guess what, that’s okay! Accepting it – owning it – is the best response you can have. It shows maturity, level-headedness, emotional intelligence, and mental strength. It also gains much more respect from your peers than trying to justify your actions, or why you think you are right.

 

3. More people in your life will disappoint you than surprise you.

Fact: People more often fail to meet your expectations than they exceed them.

It’s sad, but true. We tend to have such high expectations for people. So much, that it’s really a big letdown when they don’t meet those expectations. It really all comes down to preparedness. This doesn’t mean you should lower your expectations, but it’s important to set realistic ones.

 

Remember: The higher the expectation, the higher potential for disappointment.

So, if you set a high expectation of someone: 1) Make sure they’re worthy of the task, and 2) understand what feelings may arise if those expectations aren’t met.

 

4. You don’t need to justify your feelings to anyone.

First and foremost, your feelings are VALID. Whatever you were feeling yesterday is completely normal. Whatever you’re feeling today, and going to feel tomorrow, are also completely normal. It’s how you respond to those feelings that really shows your maturity. Some people wear their heart on their sleeve, and others keep it tucked away and harbor their emotions. One of those may describe you, or you may lie somewhere in the middle.

 

You’ve undoubtedly found yourself in a situation in which you felt pressed about how or why you have a certain opinion, but again, your opinion is valid. Don’t let anyone take that validity away from you. Keep in mind that it’s a sign of low emotional intelligence for someone to have a lack of understanding of your personal thoughts and emotions.

 

5. It’s okay to let someone believe they’re right, even when they aren’t.

Just as your feelings are valid, so are theirs. Two people may not see eye-to-eye, and trying to justify one way or another may prove fruitless. There are two reasons they’ll believe they’re right: 1) They’re embarrassed to admit they’re wrong, and 2) they believe so wholeheartedly in their opinion, that logical reasoning goes out the window. Arguing against either one does more harm than good. The bigger person is the one who stands up, says, “okay,” and moves on. Take the high road.

 

6. Real friends understand you may be in a busy season of life, even in the busiest of seasons.

Ever feel like you’re constantly saying, “Sorry, I can’t today,” or, “Maybe next month,” or, “I’m just not feeling it right now?” There could be so many reasons for this. A heavy workload at school, projects at work, life stress, and even depression could all play a factor. It’s not uncommon to feel the need to say “yes” to someone because you fear you won’t stay at the top of their invitation list. But a real friend is someone who will either continue to invite you, or be there for you when your life becomes more manageable.

 

7. Seeking someone’s approval is oftentimes a wasted effort.

Not always, but often. We spend so much time trying to impress people that we miss out on actually improving ourselves. Invest in yourself, and the positivity and approval will come to you.

 

8. Understanding your worth goes much further than being blind to it.

An employee may be doing a stellar job for their company; creating revenue, putting in long hours, and making huge breakthroughs. She’s worth more, but she isn’t getting compensated appropriately. It’s easy to want to remain in a position when it’s comfortable, but that comfort may be blinding her to the fact that she could be doing so much more for herself. Knowing her worth, she’s more likely to seek out new opportunities if she could be doing so much more for herself.

 

9. Sometimes you need to step backwards in order to move forwards.

When I was 22, I left a well-paying union job with medical benefits, a pension, and opportunity for growth. I left to pursue a career path that would prove to be much more rewarding than the one I had been on. I took a 30% pay cut, which obviously wasn’t ideal, but it was necessary. The job wasn’t pretty, wasn’t fun, but it taught me this valuable lesson that I didn’t realize until years later. That decision led me on a career path that is much more rewarding, helps me provide with a better salary, and above all, gives me greater happiness.

 

10. The “what if’s” will haunt you if you don’t do something about them.

This one’s simple. Ten years from now you’re going to:

• • Wonder what would have happened if you had gone to college.
  • Wish you would have made that investment.
  • Wish you had learned to dance.
  • Regret having never taken up a foreign language.

Hindsight is one of the most powerful perspectives you can ever have. And if you wish to have that hindsight, take a long look at what your future will look like if you don’t pursue your “what if’s” today.